galaxiafandomcom-20200223-history
Frazzled Nanny Featherbottom
The Frazzled Nanny Childcare toys were a bit of an oddity in the Toy Army. Fully designed and capable of killing without hesitation or mercy, they were repurposed for housekeeping and childcare just before production began. Every Frazzled Nanny was made to be the ideal caretaker, developed with ideals taken from ancient storybooks and shows, all of them appearing as kindly old women who happily tended to the health and cleanliness of the household and the children who lived in it. No child could be too spoiled, too rotten, too mean-spirited to be unloved by a Frazzled Nanny. Featherbottom, for her part, was an exemplary model- regarded as one of the finest in the whole series. Few could take to their jobs as gladly and eagerly as Featherbottom, which is saying a lot when one considers that the Toys were possessed of a singular drive to protect their owners. But this eagerness also made Featherbottom one of the worst hit by Irenzul's gambit. She could not bear to see the children all slowly dying of malnutrition and thirst, all while her nature demanded she do something- anything- to make it all better. It drove her mad eventually, the need to help the helpless too strong to be resisted. The other toys occasionally whisper amongst themselves about her madness. How she convinced the Copperpipe Man, the Dragonbot Hero, and the Tasty-Ade Pitcher Girl to sacrifice themselves so that she could build them into a distillery, using their pipes, flame, and bowl to boil urine and rainwater until she had something resembling drinking water. While this succeeded, it only served to prolong her childrens' suffering, which they say pushed her completely over the edge. The old broken rocking horse who rests beside the Maryanne Marvels pile occasionally mutters to passersby about what Featherbottom did that terrible night, when her desperation finally peaked. He whispers about how she snuck out to the front lines, and infiltrated Irenzul's army, capturing a loathsome imp and bringing it back. Torturing it for information, demanding that it use its fell magics to make food. And when it couldn't.. She made it into food, spending hours pulverizing and shaping a pile of bloody pulp until she had something to cook with. The old horse's voice sinks lower, barely audible, when he speaks about how she fed the children a grisly and ultimately toxic soup, how she screamed and wailed for months when it not only failed to cure their hunger, but made their deaths particularly agonizing. The horse then shudders and weeps for a few moments, murmuring about the General, who finally came and dealt with her. He forbid her from ever leaving that place again, that she could never pass beyond the wall of Rosy Ruby Unicorn dolls. And so she remains to this day. Wandering back and forth between her makeshift stove and a large, brass-knobbed bed, bearing the petrified bones of the children who died from her cooking. She heats the soup for them, and serves it to them on pristine pearl and gold rimmed trays, and tells them stories while encouraging them to eat. They'll feel so much better once they've got something in their tummies. It won't be long now, the grown-ups will come and take them home, and it will all be right again. But the children never drink, nor do they reply. They simply lay there and listen as Nanny Featherbottom rambles off half-forgotten stories and nursery rhymes, until the soup goes cold. And then Featherbottom picks it up, and takes it back to the stove, so that she can reheat it. Back to The Junk Heap Back to Main Page